Эпизод

Aug 03, 2011 77 Comments Автор

…Я стою в «молочной» кухне и смешиваю коктейль, гремя шейкером.

В нашем отеле это редкость, высокие гости коктейли не пьют. А юные девы из хороших семей (а другие у нас не останавливаются!) пьют только диетическую колу. Но вот ведь вздумалось кому-то заказать какой-то «Сауэр» на ночь глядя!…  И должность-то у меня давно уже другая, но положение надо спасать, желание гостя – закон. В нашем отеле…

Рав-машгиах (раввин, наблюдающий за соблюдением кашрута), проходивший мимо по коридору, вдруг остановился и застыл, глядя на меня, заслонив весь дверной проём своими медвежьими двумя метрами. Мы не вчера познакомились, рав  – шутник и балагур, насмешливый мужик с красноватым лицом добродушного пропойцы.

- …. а, Юваль! Что, кводо (уважаемый, как и положено раву), налить тебе? – фамильярно подмигиваю. Вместо обычного и привычного шутливого «как смеешь, девчонка?!» рав сдвигает на затылок чёрную шляпу, прищуривает глаза.

- А ты, получается, из наших, а, девчонка? – теперь уже подмигивает Юваль.

Я в недоумении молчу, тараща непонимающие глаза, и всё никак не могу придумать, каким же таким невероятным образом и в каком неподобающем месте пересеклись мои «наши» с «нашими» уважаемого раввина. Юваль-хитрец приходит на помощь:

- Вижу, барменом была?

Вот так-так! И откуда же праведник-рав так осведомлён? Медведь гордо выпячивает пузо, упирает руки в огромные бока.

– Лет пятнадцать назад и я за стойкой стоял!…

Я усаживаюсь на разделочный стол и вытягиваю шею в предвкушении рассказа. Из кухни выглядывают Великий Повар Нассер и молоденький поварёнок Фади, любимец всех официанток. Рав явно смущён всеобщим вниманием и пытается рассказик-то замять… Ан нет, машгиах, мы тебя знаем и просто так не отпустим! И он рассказывает. О том, как замечательно легка была жизнь. О сладости зелёного змия и доступности удовольствий. Фади хихикает, но Нассер даёт ему подзатыльник, и тот смущённо смолкает. А раввин рассказывает, рассказывает, глядя в себя, теребит бороду. Тоска и метанья, алкоголизм и тупая уверенность в собственных силах…

- Так ты сбежал к Богу от пьянства? – в тоне Нассера разочарование, он гордый араб, наш Нассер, и к его Богу сбежать нельзя, он не примет.

- Я вернулся к ответам после излечения! – грозно хмурит брови Юваль.

Они очень уважают друг друга, Нассер из Старого города и рав-наблюдатель Юваль, и поблажек тут не дают.

А рассказик-то типичный, думаю я, так что же ты молчишь уже полчаса, разинув рот, спрашиваю себя… может, ещё не конец?

- И тебе хватило ответов, рав? – вмешиваюсь я. – Юваль знает, что я не верю, и – клянусь, ни один раввин не смог бы произнести это! – отрицательно качает головой.

- Но ты же не вернулся к вопросам? Я не понимаю… – я на самом деле не понимаю. Нет, не может рав Юваль быть неискренним, тем более с Богом…

Ах, не зря, совсем не зря любой рав  – учитель и наставник душ! Он почувствовал моё смятение, машгиах Юваль, он с шутливой угрозой хмурит рыжеватые брови и грозит мне пальцем-сарделькой:

– Как смеешь, девчонка?! Благословенный в Величии Своём дал мне мои ответы! Мои, понимаешь?

Рав Юваль нашёл свои ответы, открыв благотворительную столовую для всех: для стариков, для больных, для бедных, для детей, для их беременных матерей. Для всех, кому нужна тарелка хорошего супа. Но моему бесу и этого мало.

- А откуда ты знаешь, что пришёл нуждающийся? Ты что, получаешь списки из отделов социальной помощи? А вдруг кто-то просто захотел за бесплатно откушать?

Юваль  добродушно улыбается, но тон у него поучительный.

- Смешная и глупая девчонка! Раз пришёл, значит, он голоден. И он – человек.

Раву надоели мои глупые сомнения, он всего лишь наблюдатель, он поправляет шляпу, одёргивает тфилин, он кричит: «Насер, смотри, какая она худая! Дай ей уже поесть!» – и, хохоча, уходит.

Вечер в нашем отеле… тихо, и кашрут никто не нарушает.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Анна Кирик

Израиль

Иммигрант рекомендует, Лит. Клуб, Проза Tags: , , ,

77 Responses to “Эпизод”

  1. ig says:

    Wow, that’s what I was looking for, what a
    data! existing here at this blog, thanks admin of this web page.

  2. ig says:

    Whats up very nice blog!! Guy .. Excellent .. Superb ..
    I will bookmark your site and take the feeds also?
    I am satisfied to find so many helpful info right here in the post, we need develop extra strategies on this regard,
    thanks for sharing. . . . . .

  3. ig says:

    Hi there i am kavin, its my first time to commenting
    anyplace, when i read this paragraph i thought i could also create comment due to this sensible post.

  4. Augusto de Arruda Botelho says:

    I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your
    weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself?

    Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it is
    rare to see a nice blog like this one these days.

  5. Meredith says:

    Hi there, after reading this awesome post i am too happy to
    share my experience here with colleagues.

  6. Itamar Serpa Fernandes says:

    Howdy, I think your blog could possibly be having browser compatibility problems.
    When I take a look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine however, if
    opening in IE, it has some overlapping issues.

    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Apart from that, wonderful site!

  7. Itamar Serpa Fernandes says:

    I am sure this piece of writing has touched all the internet viewers, its
    really really nice paragraph on building up new website.

  8. Kerrie says:

    These are truly wonderful ideas in about blogging. You have touched some nice factors
    here. Any way keep up wrinting.

  9. car computer exchange says:

    Hello, I want to subscribe for this weblog to obtain most recent updates, thus where can i do
    it please assist.

  10. Wilma says:

    Hey very interesting blog!

  11. investment advisor says:

    What’s up, after reading this awesome post i am also delighted to share
    my experience here with friends.

  12. mink lash extensions london says:

    hello there and thank you for your info – I have certainly picked up something new from right here.

    I did however expertise some technical issues using this website, since I experienced to reload the
    site many times previous to I could get it to
    load correctly. I had been wondering if your web host is OK?
    Not that I’m complaining, but slow loading instances times will often affect your placement in google and can damage your high-quality
    score if advertising and marketing with Adwords.
    Anyway I am adding this RSS to my email and could look out for a lot more of your
    respective interesting content. Make sure you update this again soon.

    my homepage: mink lash extensions london

  13. nba mobile coins buy says:

    Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate
    you penning this write-up plus the rest of the website is really good.

    my weblog; nba mobile coins buy

  14. mlm marketing strategy says:

    Thank you for every other excellent post.
    The place else may anyone get that type of info in such a perfect approach of
    writing? I’ve a presentation next week, and I am at the search
    for such info.

  15. ch.visitjordan.com says:

    It’s going to be end of mine day, but before finish I am reading this wonderful post
    to improve my know-how.

    Also visit my web site silk lashes review, ch.visitjordan.com,

  16. Egli Diana Pinto says:

    Hurrah, that’s what I was searching for, what a information! existing here at this web site, thanks admin of this web site.

  17. nxt spinning bike says:

    I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the structure of your
    site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content
    so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot
    of text for only having one or 2 pictures. Maybe
    you could space it out better?

  18. nxt spinning says:

    Hi, I log on to your new stuff like every week. Your writing style is witty, keep up the good work!

  19. agapecare.net says:

    Hi, the whole thing is going nicely here and ofcourse every one is sharing
    facts, that’s actually fine, keep up writing.

    my site :: buy cheap nba live coins – agapecare.net,

  20. www.bangkokimages.com says:

    Your style is very unique in comparison to other
    people I have read stuff from. Thank you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I’ll just bookmark this
    site.

    My weblog: cs go skins steam free (http://www.bangkokimages.com)

  21. www.dirtydoubledozen.com says:

    When someone writes an post he/she retains the plan of a
    user in his/her brain that how a user can know it. Thus that’s why this
    piece of writing is perfect. Thanks!

    Also visit my web page … mink eyelash extensions cruelty (http://www.dirtydoubledozen.com)

  22. madden 17 coins sell says:

    Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how could i subscribe
    for a blog website? The account aided me a acceptable deal.
    I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear idea

    Also visit my homepage – madden 17 coins sell

  23. Elke says:

    I’m really loving the theme/design of your blog. Do you ever run into any
    browser compatibility issues? A small number of my blog readers have complained about my
    site not operating correctly in Explorer but looks
    great in Opera. Do you have any ideas to help fix this
    problem?

    My web page cs go skins price guide (Elke)

  24. millsup.co.kr says:

    Asking questions are genuinely nice thing if you are not understanding something totally,
    except this post offers pleasant understanding yet.

    Visit my weblog: mink lashes starter kit – millsup.co.kr,

  25. csgo skins for cash says:

    I like the valuable info you provide in your articles.
    I’ll bookmark your blog and check again here regularly.
    I am quite sure I will learn lots of new stuff right here!
    Good luck for the next!

    My blog post … csgo skins for cash

  26. Itamar Serpa Fernandes says:

    Hello, i think that i saw you visited my site so i came to “return the favor”.I’m attempting to find things to improve
    my website!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!

  27. Aisha says:

    This site was… how do I say it? Relevant!!
    Finally I have found something that helped me. Cheers!

  28. Linnea says:

    Hello there, I think your website may be having internet
    browser compatibility problems. When I take a look at your website in Safari,
    it looks fine however, if opening in I.E., it’s got some overlapping issues.

    I just wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Other than that, wonderful website!

    Feel free to surf to my webpage; faux mink eyelash extensions for
    sale – Linnea
    -

  29. silk lashes vs synthetic says:

    Thanks for sharing such a good thinking, article is
    fastidious, thats why i have read it completely

    my page: silk lashes vs synthetic

  30. konveksi pakaian dalam says:

    always i used to read smaller articles which also clear their motive, and that is also happening with this article which I
    am reading here.

  31. search engine optimization tips says:

    Hi there, I think your site might be having internet browser compatibility
    issues. Whenever I take a look at your web site in Safari,
    it looks fine but when opening in I.E., it’s got some
    overlapping issues. I just wanted to provide you with a
    quick heads up! Besides that, excellent website!

  32. Wilhelmina says:

    I’m extremely pleased to find this site. I want to to thank you for ones time due to this wonderful read!!

    I definitely savored every bit of it and i also have you bookmarked to check out new stuff on your site.

  33. Marti says:

    I was suggested this website via my cousin. I’m now not sure whether or not this publish is written by means of
    him as no one else recognize such specific about my trouble.
    You are amazing! Thanks!

  34. Meagan says:

    Wow! After all I got a blog from where I be able to actually take helpful information regarding my study and knowledge.

  35. Shawna says:

    Great article. I’m going through a few of these issues as well..

  36. fifa coins buy review says:

    This design is steller! You most certainly know how to keep a reader entertained.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost
    moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Excellent job.
    I really loved what you had to say, and more than that,
    how you presented it. Too cool!

    my website fifa coins buy review

  37. Georges Sadala says:

    Hi, all is going well here and ofcourse every one
    is sharing facts, that’s truly fine, keep up writing.

  38. http://infinitywiki.gamingrendo.com/ says:

    It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt
    donate to this fantastic blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed
    to my Google account. I look forward to brand new updates and will talk about this site with my Facebook group.
    Chat soon!

  39. Anthony says:

    Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your
    blog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you
    access consistently quickly.

  40. Merissa says:

    I don’t even understand how I stopped up right here, however I assumed
    this put up used to be great. I do not know who you might be however certainly you’re going to
    a famous blogger in the event you are not already.
    Cheers!

  41. Hugo says:

    Hi there, of course this article is truly pleasant and I have learned lot of things from it concerning blogging.
    thanks.

  42. Vernon says:

    I have been exploring for a bit for any high quality articles or
    weblog posts on this sort of house . Exploring in Yahoo I finally stumbled upon this site.
    Reading this info So i am happy to exhibit that
    I have an incredibly excellent uncanny feeling I came upon just what
    I needed. I most for sure will make certain to do not forget this
    web site and provides it a glance on a constant basis.

  43. http://bbs.idcshop.com.cn says:

    It is in reality a great and helpful piece of info.
    I’m satisfied that you simply shared this
    useful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this.
    Thanks for sharing.

  44. Cecilia says:

    It’s going to be finish of mine day, but before finish I am reading this enormous piece of writing to improve my knowledge.

  45. Augusto de Arruda Botelho says:

    Greetings from Idaho! I’m bored at work so I decided to check out your blog on my iphone during lunch break.
    I really like the information you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.

    I’m amazed at how quick your blog loaded on my cell phone ..
    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, wonderful site!

  46. http://delta-solutions.ru/blog/27139.html says:

    Do you mind if I quote a few of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your blog?

    My website is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users would certainly benefit from a lot of the information you provide here.
    Please let me know if this ok with you. Thank you!

  47. Stacey says:

    Someone essentially lend a hand to make critically posts I’d state.
    This is the very first time I frequented your website page and up to now?

    I amazed with the research you made to make this actual publish amazing.
    Great task!

  48. Georges Sadala says:

    Thank you for every other informative site. Where else may just I am getting that kind of
    info written in such an ideal manner? I have a challenge that I’m just now running on, and I have been at the glance out
    for such info.

  49. Anita says:

    I know this web page provides quality dependent articles
    and additional stuff, is there any other website which provides such things in quality?

  50. www.this-is-not-normal.net says:

    Awesome blog! Is your theme custom made or did you
    download it from somewhere? A theme like yours with
    a few simple tweeks would really make my blog stand
    out. Please let me know where you got your theme.
    Kudos

  51. Natalie says:

    What’s up to all, the contents present at this web page are
    truly awesome for people knowledge, well, keep up the
    good work fellows.

  52. Sheila says:

    Hello I am so happy I found your weblog, I really found you by error, while
    I was researching on Digg for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say thanks for a marvelous
    post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design),
    I don’t have time to go through it all at the moment but I have
    saved it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great
    deal more, Please do keep up the awesome jo.

  53. Katie says:

    What’s up, its fastidious article on the topic of media print, we
    all understand media is a impressive source of information.

  54. Stuart says:

    Excellent blog you have here but I was curious about
    if you knew of any forums that cover the same topics talked about here?

    I’d really like to be a part of community where I can get suggestions from other knowledgeable people that share the same interest.
    If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Thanks!

  55. Egli Diana Pinto says:

    Aw, this was a really good post. Spending some time and actual effort to make a great article… but what can I say…
    I hesitate a whole lot and don’t manage to
    get anything done.

  56. Mikayla says:

    Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.
    You definitely know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving
    us something enlightening to read?

  57. zero waste says:

    I have read a few just right stuff here. Definitely value
    bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how much effort you place to create the sort of wonderful informative
    website.

  58. Layne says:

    What’s up i am kavin, its my first occasion to commenting anywhere, when i read this
    piece of writing i thought i could also make comment due to this
    sensible paragraph.

    Also visit my web site; silk lashes buy (Layne)

  59. www.residence-des-sources.fr says:

    When some one searches for his required thing, therefore he/she wishes to
    be available that in detail, therefore that thing
    is maintained over here.

    Feel free to visit my webpage :: csgo skins free giveaway (http://www.residence-des-sources.fr)

  60. http://www.miraralcielo.com/empinguela/modules.php?name=Your_Account&op=userinfo&username=LavondaJul says:

    I do not even know the way I ended up right here, but I believed
    this put up used to be good. I don’t recognize who you might be but certainly you’re
    going to a famous blogger should you are not already.

    Cheers!

    My blog post: fifa coins 17 buy, http://www.miraralcielo.com/empinguela/modules.php?name=Your_Account&op=userinfo&username=LavondaJul,

  61. Marcelo says:

    Hello Dear, are you really visiting this web site regularly, if so afterward you will without doubt obtain fastidious know-how.

    My web page; mink lash extensions kit (Marcelo)

  62. Augusto de Arruda Botelho says:

    Every weekend i used to go to see this website, for the reason that i wish for enjoyment, for the reason that
    this this web page conations truly good funny material too.

  63. Tonja says:

    You’re so awesome! I don’t believe I’ve read through anything like that before.
    So nice to find somebody with a few original thoughts on this topic.

    Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This site is something that is required on the
    internet, someone with a bit of originality!

  64. Charis says:

    Hi my family member! I want to say that this article is awesome, great written and include almost all significant infos.
    I would like to look extra posts like this .

    Also visit my weblog mink eyelash extensions for sale (Charis)

  65. http://project.sungoal.org says:

    It’s going to be finish of mine day, except before finish I am reading
    this impressive article to increase my knowledge.

  66. madden 17 coins generator says:

    Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied
    on the video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about,
    why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your
    weblog when you could be giving us something informative to read?

    My page madden 17 coins generator

  67. Charley says:

    I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as
    well as with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme
    or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it’s
    rare to see a nice blog like this one today.

    Feel free to visit my web site :: csgo skin betting sites – Charley -

  68. Luann says:

    A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment.
    I do believe that you need to write more about this subject matter, it may not be a
    taboo subject but usually folks don’t speak about such
    subjects. To the next! Kind regards!!

  69. German says:

    all the time i used to read smaller articles which as well
    clear their motive, and that is also happening with this paragraph which I am reading
    at this place.

    Look into my site: mink strip eyelashes wholesale (German)

  70. Caseynub says:

    wh0cd219559 [url=http://costofviagra2017.com/]Cost Of Viagra[/url]

  71. rita.gen.tr says:

    It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy.
    I have read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or advice.
    Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article.

    I wish to read more things about it!

    Here is my blog post; nba live coins free (rita.gen.tr)

  72. security management says:

    I do not even know how I ended up here, however I believed this post was
    good. I don’t realize who you’re but definitely you’re going
    to a famous blogger if you are not already. Cheers!

  73. Terri says:

    you are truly a excellent webmaster. The web site loading pace is incredible.
    It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick.
    In addition, The contents are masterwork. you have done a great process on this topic!

  74. nhl coins says:

    Thanks in favor of sharing such a pleasant idea, paragraph is nice,
    thats why i have read it entirely

    my web site … nhl coins

  75. home security company says:

    Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your website and in accession capital to assert that I
    get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Any
    way I will be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access
    consistently fast.

  76. Athena says:

    I’m really loving the theme/design of your web site.
    Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility problems?
    A couple of my blog readers have complained about my blog not
    operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Safari.
    Do you have any suggestions to help fix this issue?

Leave a Reply

*

Switch to our mobile site